Love Advice in the 5th Dimension
ALL THE BABES
Dear Love Artist,
I love my life. I want to preface with that because, seriously, I hate to complain. I might even say, I’m kinda ecstatic: live in NYC, do massive amounts of yoga, experiment with plant medicines, take a dip into the festival scene when it’s somewhere beautiful, have great friends & make art (design installation multi-media events) for a living, enough to pay for an apartment that people keep asking me how I can afford it, along with all the alternative healing practices that are absolutely necessary to keep sane in this accelerated crazy beautiful life we are all living. Like I said, I know I’m lucky, blessed, all of it, kiss the ground every day. Grateful.
But here’s the thing, if I may be so bold to complain, I keep meeting women I love, no not just love, but women I am obsessed with. I mean I just open the door to the world no matter where I am (I live in NYC, upstate NY and spend a lot of time in Mexico) and, without any effort at all, I am deep in an energetic embrace with some gorgeous inspiring creature. Like 3 before lunch sometimes, our phones out & making plans for a trip to drink ayahuasca somewhere in the Amazon. It’s crazy.
What’s the problem? I am not into women. I mean I LOVE women, but my dance card is kinda full on changing-the-world, separated-at-birth BFFs or even the non changing-the-world, more mani-pedi/light gossip BFFs & everything in-between. I am so so so set, like into next century. I need a man.
I’m not desperate. I date. Regularly. I connect. Some bright lights there but . . . a bit vague & no momentum. Nothing going on like what’s going on with the babes. Pretty sure I am not queer but maybe I could learn to really really learn to love pussy? I weirdly feel like I would be giving up.
I know you would tell me if I could do more. I mean, WTF Love Artist?
Please xo Lost in Babeland
My beloved LIB,
I hear you on so many levels. I want to say first and above all, there is actually possibility here, for you to connect with men or at least one man that satisfies you (you haven’t mentioned anything about sex here, so I am assuming you are not completely lacking faith or action in that arena), inspires you AND stays around long enough to build something with.
Oh, and by they way, yes, you can totally learn to love pussy, but that is a whole separate column or contact me privately. No obligation.
I do want to ask you however: have you ever kissed a woman (aside from on a dare or some drunken maneuver a million years ago)? Have you ever really sat in your body and allowed something to cook? Allowed yourself to be uncomfortable and then go further. Explored what it feels like to really connect. In your head. In your body. Without needing to make a declaration. Just asking.
This investigation of what you believe is possible juxtaposed against the expanse of time it takes to dissolve this may appear counterintuitive. Not an organic love flow but you might be surprised. One of the big perks to living through a time like the one we are in is that the door is swinging super wide open, open enough for entire structures of belief to fall away in a matter of moments, whoosh, as if they never existed. This is truly possible. It can open up relationship possibilities that you have never imagined, with men as well as women.
So the question is: what is it that you want most of all? If this question causes you anxiety, you are at the core of your relationship issues. The connection is ultimately with yourself, right? You are connecting to women because they have all those crazy intuitive super powers and they can see you, in all your gorgeousness, even when you can’t see yourself. Men, on the other hand, are nervous when women don’t know what they want. Always and particularly right now. They really, really need operating instructions and they don’t like to get them spelled out. It’s a dance that you have to WANT to take on.
If you are the type of person who thinks there really is no time for this type of exploration, let me tell you . . . you literally have all the time in the world. I promise. Go deep. Go deeper. Don’t ask for other people to answer these questions for you. Men or Women. You will not regret this.
Mucho amor xo The Love Artist
Kathe Izzo is The Love Artist, falling in love with the world one person at a time as a commissioned art performance ~ “one person at a time, for one day, hour, or afternoon, one early morning or late evening, concentrating on live love and commuting telepathically throughout the world,” spontaneously and/or by appointment through her infamous international True Love Project. She is in the process of finishing a two volume magical realism memoir on the surreal landscape of the heart, intimacy, plant spirits, the art world, motherhood & matriarchal lineages. She continues to utilize the True Love Project as a platform for her teachings on creativity & relationships, ceremonial work & a variety of meditative practices.
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